If you haven’t heard it yet, you are bound to hear an artist say that they’ll never get into a relationship with another artist, musician, performer, or a personal as equally creative as them. I was once one of those artists. Having had my share of kindred spirit attractions go south and go up in flames, tears and regret – I have repeatedly vowed never to be in a relationship with another artist. They are too volatile, emotional, dramatic, unstable, and competitive. Name any artistic creative stereotype and I had encountered it. I’d been hurt and I blamed my failed relationships on our shared passions. These letdowns no doubt had a negative impact on my motivation, focus, and artist practice.
So for several years, I avoided relationships (and even friendships) with creative types. During this time, I purged my relationship bookshelf and began to realize that if I wanted to be a successful, prosperous, healthy, happy, artist I needed to conscientiously choose to surround myself with those types of people. It was during this time that I realized that creative personalities, no matter how dynamic, emotionally driven, or passionately artistic they were, had nothing to do with the quality of a person that I was engaging with. It’s no surprise that these new friendships had a positive impact on my lifestyle and therefore practice.
My previous unhealthy relationship patterns had nothing to do with the fact that those people were artists or creative individuals. There were healthy creative souls in my social circles. I just wasn’t paying them any mind because I had simply chosen to commit to individuals that were unhealthy, because I myself had some emotional baggage that I needed to work through.
I had some shit to work through. So what’s my point?
My point is, good people come in all personality types. If you’re an artist, you can have healthy intimate relationships with other artists that compliment your life and your practice. You can have friendships that support, and nurture the work that you do and the lifestyle that you’ve chosen. All artists are drug abusing alcoholics. Lie. Most of my artist friends don’t drink. Artists are hypersexual and promiscuous. False. The majority of my artist friends are in healthy committed relationships. Don’t fall for the belief that creative souls are damaged goods with nothing to contribute. And don’t fall for the lie that in order to be a successful creative, you have to live a life separated from other artists like a monk on a solitude binge.
What fun is that?!
It doesn’t matter the level of creative awareness of the people in your tribe. What matters is that you have one- and that it’s healthy. If you have that, you will thrive, and so will your creative practice.